


Deep End

by romanticalgirl



Category: Dawson's Creek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-11
Updated: 2014-02-11
Packaged: 2018-01-11 23:18:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1179125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted 5/21/03</p>
    </blockquote>





	Deep End

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 5/21/03

"What's this?" Audrey picked the two matching envelopes out of the pile of mail and tossed one to Joey. She dropped the rest of the mail on her bed and edged a fingernail under the flap, tearing the creamy stationery open. "Oooh. A party."

Joey took hers and turned it over, her hand moving silently over the writing. She swallowed hard and turned it over, opening it and pulling the invitation out. "A dinner party."

"Awww. A welcome home party! For me!" Audrey sank onto her bed and started reading out loud. "You are cordially invited to the celebration of the return of the lovely Miss Audrey Liddell. Friday night at 7pm at the home of Mademoiselles Ryan and Lindley." She laughed and fell back on her pillow. "It's nice that even though he's a jackass, Pacey still loves me."

"Loves?" Joey asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, how can he not?" Audrey shrugged and smiled. "I'm pretty irresistible, don't you know."

"Oh, I know."

"You gonna bring Eddie?" Audrey turned around on the bed and started leafing through the remaining mail. "I mean, I promise to be somewhat nice to him, even if he is a jerk to you a large amount of the time."

"He's not a jerk."

"Joey, Joey, Joey. He whines when you don't put out. He's not just a jerk, he's twelve." Audrey tossed a few flyers Joey's way, not caring as they fluttered to the floor. "I'm calling to RSVP. Are you bringing the boyfriend or what?"

Joey chewed her lower lip silently, sighing beneath her breath. "Yeah. Sure."

"Great. I'll let the Iron Chef know."

**  
"You're certain there's nothing I can do to help you, Pacey?"

"Absolutely sure, Mrs. Ryan. I've got it all under control. Just because I'm storming the stock market, it doesn't mean that I've lost my magic touch with an oven, some spices and a well stuffed bird."

"Pacey, are you talking dirty to my grandmother again?" Jen smacked Pacey lightly on the arm. "I told you to stop that. Now that she's free again, she's liable to take you up on it."

"I could be your step-grandfather, Jen. You'd have to listen to me then."

She looked at him oddly then gave a quick all-body shudder. "Never speak of this conversation again."

"Good plan." He patted her on the head then on the ass. "Go set the table."

Grams sat on the stool at the island, watching Pacey as he moved around the kitchen. "You're comfortable here."

"You've got a nice kitchen."

"I think it suits you more than those business suits I see you in from time to time. Not," she held up her hand to keep him from speaking, "that I'm suggesting that you aren't good at what you do or that you should give it up. I'm simply saying that you have something that makes you happy and there's a very good chance that you could make money at it. It seems…somewhat sad to me that you'd give that up simply for money."

"It's not for money, Mrs. Ryan. Not just for money."

"I see." She pulled a cutting board toward her, picking up the knife and starting to work on dicing the vegetables.

Pacey glanced at her and sighed, nodding. "I'm sure you do." He picked up a baster and opened the oven, sucking up some juice and squeezing it over the pheasant. "But she's bringing her boyfriend to this little soiree, so it's kind of a moot point. No matter what I do, she wants something…someone who isn't me."

"Or perhaps she wants you more than she's ready for."

"You're pretty wise, Mrs. Ryan." Pacey smiled at her and turned back to the stove. "But you're wrong where this is concerned."

**  
Joey bounced nervously on the balls of her feet as Eddie fumbled with his jacket pockets looking for his keys. Joey looked from him to Audrey then back again before grabbing his arm. "We'll be right back." She released him and caught Audrey's hand, dragging her several feet away. "I need to talk to you."

"Bunny, we're running late."

"It's important."

"If it was important, you would have mentioned it in the five hours you've been pacing the room. However, since you haven't, I'm going to take it as not really being important, even though you think it's important. Because, and I don't know if you've noticed this, but you tend to be a little overdramatic and self-involved when it comes to stuff."

"I slept with Pacey while you were gone."

"Oh. Okay." Audrey gave her a hard smile. "This is important."

"I mean, I didn't."

"Did or didn't, Joey? I mean, I know you're ambivalence girl, but I also know Pacey and when he fucks you, it's pretty hard to forget."

"We did. But not."

Audrey's jaw tightened. "I don't know if you've realized that you're edging awfully close to pissing me off."

"We didn't just…it wasn't just sex."

"No?"

"Yes. I mean, in retrospect, maybe it was, but at the time it didn't feel like it."

"What did it feel like, Joey?"

"It felt like dating. Like…like he was…"

"Still in love with you?" Audrey laughed shortly, bitterly. "You know what, we're late. Looks like your boyfriend has found his keys, so maybe we should just fucking go to this party."

"I wanted to tell you. I mean, no one really knows, but I thought I needed to tell you because I know that you and he…"

"What? Used to fuck?"

"That you dated."

Tears stung Audrey's eyes and she shook her head angrily before heading toward Eddie's truck. "Fuck you."

**  
"What's the matter, Jack? Couldn't find another date for tonight?" David's acidic tone hit Jack like a punch to the stomach. He slid into the empty seat next to Jack. "Oh, I'm sorry. Are you saving this for someone?"

"David…"

"Jen invited me, Jack. I had no idea you were going to be here; otherwise I would have refused the invitation."

"I want us to talk. I want to try and work this out."

"Then apologize."

Jack sighed and shook his head. "I didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry if your feelings got hurt. I'm sorry if I upset you. But I'm not going to apologize for being nice to someone. I was nice to you when we met…"

"And look where we ended up." David got to his feet. "On second thought, I don't think I will sit here."

Jack buried his head in his hands as David walked away. He rubbed his temples and got to his feet, heading into the kitchen. Jen gave him a quick glance and sighed, heading out into the living room. As she passed him, she reached out and squeezed his hand. "It'll work out."

"Yeah, as soon as I apologize for talking to someone." Jack smirked. "Would you do me a favor and ask Pacey if he needs any help, since I'm afraid if I do it, it might be misconstrued?"

"You're being a drama queen. And nobody likes a drama queen."

"I'm a homosexual, Jen. We all like drama queens."

"I'll call Priscilla then and get your ABBA albums out of the closet." She turned him and shoved him in the direction of the living room. "Come on."

"I don't want to talk to him."

"You don't have to. But I'm not going to sit in that room all by myself with the hostile gay boy and his best friend. I'm trying to maintain a relationship with CJ. Getting into a fight about you will not help my cause." As Jack started to say something, she shook her head. "I have enough issues without you being one of them."

"Fine. But I'm going under protest."

"I know, honey. But you're coming with me, nonetheless."

**  
Audrey stormed up the stairs in front of Joey, opening the door and slamming it shut behind her. Joey stopped short, closing her eyes at Eddie's curious look as he reached around her to open it again. "Is there something going on here that I'm blissfully unaware of?"

"Just drop it, okay? Audrey's just in a snit."

"This isn't a snit, Jo. This is a full blown bitch attack."

"You should know," Audrey sneered, "since you're dating the biggest one of them all."

"Hey now," Eddie glared at her. "I don't know what's gotten into you, little Miss It's All About Me, but…"

"You're right, Eddie, it is all about me. This is my party."

"Yeah, because we're celebrating that you used to be a big mouthed, pill-popping drunk."

"Actually," Pacey's smooth voice overrode Audrey's strangled outcry as he wrapped his arm around her, his hand over her mouth, "we're celebrating that she managed to overcome all that."

"Like I said, we're celebrating that she used to be a…"

"I'd suggest you quit while you're ahead." Pacey grimaced as Audrey bit the palm of his hand. "Or before she escapes to the kitchen, takes one of my knives and decides to re-enact a scene or two from Eating Raoul or one of our other fine foreign films about cannibalism, okay?"

Eddie shrugged. "Whatever." He brushed past Pacey, heading toward the living room and the rest of the gang gathered on the sofas.

Pacey released Audrey, surveying his palm. "You broke the skin."

"You were suffocating me."

"You two want to tell me what all that was about?"

"Mostly it was about Joey's boyfriend being a dickhead." Audrey smirked, her eyes narrowed. "Or should I say Joey's current boyfriend. Must suck, huh, Pace? Not only did you get dumped by the same girl twice, but you got dumped for Eddie, of all people."

Pacey's face hardened and he had to force his smile. "I only got dumped by her once, actually. The first time I did the dumping." He didn't look at Joey as he shook his head. "If you ladies will excuse me, I have to go baste my pheasant."

"Nice euphemism."

"You really are a bitch," Joey hissed at her as Pacey left the room.

"Takes one to know one, doesn't it, Potter?"

**  
CJ leaned toward Jen as he passed her the basket of biscuits, dropping his voice low enough so that only she could hear it. "Is it just me or do we seem to be in a hostile environment?"

"It's not just you."

"And it's not just the David and Jack thing, right?"

"I'd say there are some other issues at work here."

"Just checking." He sighed and turned his attention back to his plate and took a bite. "This is great, Pacey."

"Thanks." He finished carving more of the pheasant and passed it along the table. "Eat up, but save room for dessert."

"So," Audrey looked around the table, smiling dangerously. "Tell me all about your lives since I've been gone. Tell me how much you've missed me." Eddie started to say something, stopping at both Audrey's glare and Joey's kick to his shin. "Except you. I don't care about you."

"Well," Jen drawled the word, glancing around at the rest of the table. "CJ and I are dating. And…uh…happy?"

"Goody." Audrey smiled. "You deserve happiness and I'm glad that whole thing," she waved her hand in the air, "is forgotten. Or forgiven at least. We'll chalk it all up to overindulgence and move on."

"Okay."

"Well, not really, since I have to apologize to you for it, so let me say," she held her hand over her heart, "that I truly and deeply regret hurting you, Jen. I wasn't thinking about you or anyone but myself…"

"There's a shocker."

Audrey pursed her lips as the sound of Joey's kick filled the silent room. "Anyway, I'm trying to fix that and I hope that we can be friends still. And always."

"We can," Jen nodded. "Because believe me, if there's anyone in this room who knows about screwing up, it's me."

"Thanks." Audrey smiled and reached over and squeezed Jen's hand. "I'm sorry."

"I'm just glad you're better."

"You've got to be kidding me." Eddie shook his head. "She screwed around with the guy you were hot for, knowing you were hot for him. And you're just forgiving her?"

"I wasn't dating him at the time…"

"But she knew. And she did it anyway. You're just going to forget that happened?"

"Eddie," Joey warned.

"You guys are all messed up. Even without the drugs." He stood up. "Thanks for the meal, but I think I'll avoid these particular twelve steps. Come on, Joey."

"No."

"Joey."

"No." She crossed her arms over her chest. "These are my friends, Eddie, and Audrey is my roommate."

"Yeah, she was acting real friendly out there earlier, wasn't she? What's the matter? Did she sleep with someone you liked too?" The silence in the room was suddenly heavy and deafening. Eddie glanced at Joey, his eyes narrowed as he turned his gaze to Audrey. "You didn't."

"What?" Audrey's eyes widened with innocence.

"You told her we slept together?"

"Dear God, no. First off, Joey'd never believe that because she knows I think you're pretty much lower than pond scum with your little blue collar attitude and the chip on your shoulder that seems to be big enough to replace both World Trade Center buildings. And second of all, I would never have sex with you."

"What? I'm not your type? But how can that be? I'm dating someone else."

"Yeah, well, you're also an asshole." Audrey blushed. "Sorry, Grams."

"You know, Pacey, as delightful as dinner is, I think I'll finish mine upstairs." Grams stood, gathering her plate. "Do let me know when you get to dessert."

"Sure thing, Mrs. Ryan." As soon as she was gone, Pacey turned on Eddie, his eyes flashing blue fire. "I don't know who the hell you think you are, you little shit, but this isn't your house and these aren't your friends. We put up with you because Joey likes you for some reason that none of the rest of us can fathom, but…"

"I'm a tiger in the sack," Eddie sneered.

Pacey looked over Eddie's shoulder at Joey. "I'm gonna punch him."

"Your little white knight act is pretty sweet. But aren't you the guy who dumped Audrey in the midst of her little breakdown? So, let's get back to our conversation," he turned back to Audrey. "So, who'd you sleep with, Audrey? I'm real curious to know."

Audrey's voice was low and malicious, delighting in every syllable. "It's not who I fucked, Eddie. It's who Joey did."

"She told me she moved on. But obviously she didn't go far."

"No. She went backwards."

Jen's attention snapped to Pacey. "Oh, Pacey, you didn't."

"Him?" Eddie laughed as he pointed at Pacey. "And I'm supposed to be worried about that? I mean, hell, the guy's had how many chances now? What's the matter, buddy? You can't seal the deal?"

Pacey swung instinctively, his punch landing on Eddie's cheek and whipping his head around. He shook his hand, watching Eddie with narrowed eyes as he fell to the floor, staring up at Pacey with a dark hatred. "I warned you."

Eddie smirked and wiped the small trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth. "Hey, no worries. You've got to release that sexual tension somehow, right?" He got to his feet and looked at Joey. "Let's go."

Joey looked from Eddie to the rest of the group gathered around the table. She bit her lower lip then glanced over her shoulder to where Eddie was already waiting in the hallway by the front door. "It'd probably be better if I left."

Audrey shrugged. "It's up to you, Jo. Whatever's more important."

Pacey gave Joey a half-smile, his eyes dull. "She's already decided that."

Joey shook her head slightly, tears standing in her eyes. "Pace…"

"Your boyfriend's waiting, Jo." He smiled. "You'd better hurry."

**  
"Wow." David rested his elbow on the table and put his chin in his hand. "Do you guys have this much drama for dinner every night?"

"Just on the weekends." Jen sighed and bunched up her napkin, throwing it onto her plate. "I'll be right back."

"Maybe I should go," Audrey suggested as she watched the kitchen doors shut behind Pacey. "I mean, I knew where all this was going…"

"I think you'd better let me handle this one, Audrey." Jen patted her on the shoulder as she passed by. "Because I think the last thing Pacey needs right now is a sympathy fuck from an ex-girlfriend who may or may not be over him."

"I wasn't going to…well, okay, I was. But not in your Grams's kitchen."

"I appreciate that." Jen opened the door and slipped inside, pulling it shut behind her. She leaned against it, watching the hard line of his shoulders as he gripped the counter tightly. "You okay?"

"Of course. I'm always okay, didn't you know that?" He turned and looked at her, his normally blue eyes black with hurt. "I went into it with both eyes open, Jen, so don't look so tortured on my behalf. It just meant more to me than it did to her."

"That's sort of becoming a theme, isn't it?"

"I'll live."

"You still love her?"

"Did I ever stop?"

She nodded and moved over to him, standing on tiptoe to give him a hug. "It'll get better."

"Yeah?"

"Sure. Audrey's already offered to sleep with you."

He chuckled, the sound coming from low in his chest. "I'll keep the offer in mind." With a sly grin, he caught a lock of her hair. "I don't suppose there's any way to get you to consider joining us?"

"As tempting an offer as that is, something tells me my boyfriend might not appreciate it."

"He could have you guys after I was done."

"Gee, with that attitude, it's hard to see why a woman would leave you." She kissed him softly on the cheek. "I'm sorry she hurt you, Pace."

"I'm sorry I let her. Almost."

"Maybe you'll stop loving her someday?"

"Sure."

**  
CJ stood up and moved into the living room, glancing at the CD cases next to the player. Audrey followed him, curling up on the corner of the couch and holding a pillow on her lap. "The apology extends to you, too."

"You didn't do anything to me." He smiled at her and shook his head. "You forget, I've been where you are. I know what you're going through and, as screwed up as it was and is, I went into what we did with my eyes open." He glanced back in the general direction of the kitchen. "I just got lucky with the fallout."

"She's a great girl. If you hurt her, I'll rip your heart out. Better yet, I'll lock you in a room with Eddie for eternity."

"I think it's much more likely that she's going to end up hurting me, but your warning is heeded."

"Good." She glanced at the table where Jack and David sat in awkward silence. "What's up with them?"

"Misunderstanding."

"Hmm. You think it would help at all if I apologized to them?"

CJ shook his head. "Probably not."

"What if I told one of them I slept with the other?"

"Definitely not."

Audrey sighed. "This party sucks. And I would desperately love a drink."

"I know the feeling."

"Can I ask you something?" Audrey sat up on the couch a little higher, her eyes bright as she smiled at him. "What's it like? I mean, the whole clean and sober gig? Is it as boring as it seems, or is it just that I hang around with this annoying, angsty and yet mind numbing folks?"

"I think the last option is the most likely," he shrugged and sat on the couch near her. "And I'm no saint, trust me. I think our little adventure into my bedroom proved that. I have a hard time resisting. I don't always win."

"No? So you're saying it's okay if I take an occasional drink?"

"You think you can handle it?"

Audrey thought for a second, her lower lip slipping out in a slight pout. "If I could handle any of this, I wouldn't have ended up in rehab."

"So there's your answer."

"It's much harder to have sex with random boys without the benefit of alcohol to make them random cute boys."

"It's one of the hazards, I'm afraid."

"It sort of sucks."

"It sort of does." He nodded, looking past her at Jen who was standing in the doorway. He searched her eyes, smiling softly at the complete lack of accusation in them. "Welcome home, Audrey."

"Thanks." She turned and looked at Jen as well. "Can I go see him now?"

"You promise not to jump him?"

"No."

"It's not going to hurt Joey."

"Hurting Joey would require her to be made out of something other than stone."

"And it will hurt him." Audrey pressed her lips together and didn't say anything. "And it'll prove Eddie right."

"I hate it when you use logic."

"I'm evil that way."

**  
"You've got interesting friends."

"And I haven't slept with any of them." Jack snapped, stabbing his food with his fork. "And yet I manage to hold a civil conversation with all of them. How do you think that's possible?"

"He was flirting with you, Jack!"

"And does that piss you off simply because he was doing it or because he wasn't doing it with you?" David froze, his eyes closing as if in slow motion. "What? Just because I wasn't all protective and jealous, you don't think I saw him hitting on you? You don't think I didn't notice simply because I'm not acting like an ass?"

"So I'm an ass?"

"No! You're jealous, David. Not of me talking to him, but of him talking to me!" Jack pushed his plate away and turned sideways, glaring at his boyfriend. "And I don't know whether to laugh or be insulted. Because I care about you, David, and I'm sorry that I can't fly off the handle about you getting hit on, but I look at you and it makes sense, you know? You're cute and you're sexy and you're going to get hit on no matter how I feel about it. It's just going to happen."

David refused to look at Jack, staring straight ahead.

"Does it bother me? A little, yeah, but I trust you, so I don't freak out about it. I trust that, no matter what, you care about me too, and so there's no danger of some random guy showing up and luring you away from me. But apparently, you don't have that kind of trust for me, so if all it's going to take to get us at each other's throat is for some guy to sit down next to me…"

"He wasn't' just sitting next to you, Jack. You gave him my seat."

"And suddenly a random seat in a theater is symbolic of…what? My love? My attention? My cock?" High heat flushed David's face and Jack laughed incredulously. "What did you think I was going to do, David? Straddle him right there in the aisle and screw him? Give Dr. Drew and Adam something really interesting to talk about?" When David didn't say anything, Jack reached over and rested his hand lightly on David's hand. "I was just talking to him, David. It didn't mean anything."

David pulled his hand free and shoved away from the table. "I'm going home."

**  
Joey crossed her arms across her chest and glared out the windshield, refusing to look in Eddie's direction. He drove in silence for a while, finally pulling off the road with a muffled curse and snapping the engine off. "What?"

"What?"

He blew out a breath and unbuckled his seat belt, turning to face her. "What's the attitude about? I mean, if anyone has a right to be pissed off here, I think it'd be me, given that I'm not the one who ran out before our relationship was even cold and started sleeping around."

"Sleeping around?" Joey's eyes widened. "Oh, right, I'm just a whore, right?"

"You weren't exactly shy in the sack."

"Oh, I see. And what I'm like in the sack is indicative of what it takes to get me there?"

"You weren't exactly a tough sell, Potter. I didn't have to try all that hard. And, from the looks of it, Mr. High School didn't have to either."

"I'm sorry, is this what you consider charming and clever? Because you left witty a long way back and have entered insulting and rude. And despite what you may think, I don't have to sit here and listen to this." She popped the door open and swung out of the truck, landing smoothly on the ground. She looked back at him and glared. "Have a nice trip back to California, Eddie. Make sure to send me a postcard so I can burn it in effigy."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" He followed her out of the truck and matched her stride as she tried to walk away. "You want me to make the decision for you so that you don't have to, right? You want me to make this easy?"

"No, I want you to take your smart mouth and get the hell out of my life. You insulted my friends back there. You were rude and unfeeling and you probably thought you were funny. But you know what? You weren't. You were an asshole. An inconsiderate asshole. And I have to wonder why exactly it was that I had sex with you again, because I think I was a hell of a lot smarter when I was keeping my legs closed."

"For me, anyway."

"What?" Her eyes flashed dangerously as she faced him. "What did you just say?"

"You heard what I just said. Maybe you were too busy getting busy with your ex to get busy with me."

"Are you really speaking this crap? You want me to 'get with you'? To 'get busy'? What, you went to California and regressed to 1996 or something?"

"Nice way to dodge the issue."

"The issue? You think you accusing me of cheating on you is the issue? And here I thought that stupid, poor boy thing was just an act. Apparently it was the intelligence that was the mask."

"Oh, insult me. That's much better than actually talking or resolving anything, huh?"

"What is there to resolve, Eddie? You went into that party tonight, intent on being a dickhead and ruining it for the rest of it. There was no issue with you. It didn't involve you. Pacey was nice enough to invite you because you were my boyfriend."

"Were?"

Joey laughed incredulously. "You don't honestly think that after tonight's little performance I have any intention of 'getting with you' again, do you? Because if you do, you're stupider than I had previously gauged."

"Oh, stop, Potter, you're turning me on somethin' fierce." Joey acted on long buried instinct, her hand shooting out of its own accord, her fist landing in the shadow of Pacey's earlier hit. Eddie cried out and fell back, glaring at her from the ground. "What the fuck was that?"

Joey reached down and picked Eddie's keys off the ground and pocketed them, turning and heading back to the truck. She climbed inside and started it, pulling up beside him and unrolling the window. "Don't call me Potter."

**  
Pacey leaned in and kissed Jen's cheek then Grams's. "I left you dessert."

Grams kissed his cheek in return. "It's not your fault, Pacey. I know you were trying to do a nice thing."

"You'd think I'd learn by now." He shrugged. "Anyway, thanks for the loan of the kitchen."

"Goodnight, Pacey."

Jen reached out and squeezed his hand. "You okay?"

"Me? Yeah." He winked at her. "I'm always okay, Jen. My heart is conditioned where she's concerned."

"Bullshit."

"Yeah, well." He shrugged again. "Night."

Jen kissed him again and shut the door. Pacey turned up the collar of his coat and started down the steps, stopping when he noticed Audrey leaning against a tree.

"You lost, little girl?"

"No. I just think you owe me a ride in this sweet machine of yours." She trailed a hand along the roof of his car. "And I figure if you're driving, there's a very slim chance we'll end up driving through the wall of a building."

He smirked and shook his head. "You need a ride home?"

"It's better than taking the train."

"The seats massage your ass."

"Well, considering that I'm not involved with anyone right now, that sounds downright erotic." She smiled at him as he unlocked her door, her eyes earnest. "You okay?"

"Don't ask me that, okay?"

"My lips are sealed." She licked the soft pink of them. "Unless you can think of a reason they should be open."

"Thanks, but no thanks, Audrey."

She shrugged and winked at him. "Just trying to do my part."

"You're a trooper."

"I try."

**  
Jack blew out a long breath as Jen and CJ disappeared into the kitchen under the guise of doing the dishes. He closed his eyes, listening to the soft clink of porcelain, and he rubbed his hands on his thighs. Tilting his head to the side, he stretched his neck until it popped then turned and did it in the opposite direction. As soon as the quiet sound filled the room, he opened his eyes, intent on grabbing his coat and fleeing the scene.  
"I'm leaving."

"That seems to be par for the course for us." Jack shrugged. "I wanted tonight to end differently."

"Yeah? How?"

Jack shrugged and gestured to the dining room, the few plates and serving bowls in disarray. "I don't want that to be us."

"That should be easy," David assured him. "There is no us."

Jack sighed and ran his hand through his hair, closing his eyes. "I don't know what you want me to say, David. I don't know what to do to fix this."

"Maybe there isn't anything you can do."

Jack walked up to him, closing the slight distance between them. "I don't want to believe that." "Believe what you need to, Jack." David's eyes stayed trained on him, watching him intently as Jack stepped closer, his fingers brushing the zipper of David's jacket. "It's not going to change reality."

"We can change it. If we want to." Jack leaned in, his eyes closed, his breath stirring David's hair, his blood.

"Is this how you solve it, Jack? By trying to fuck me?"

Jack reeled back as if he'd been slapped. "What?"

"I mean, you shut me up by kissing me, maybe you think you can make everything better by putting your dick inside me, huh?"

"Why are you doing this? Why would you say that?"

"I don't know." David shrugged, his face cold. "You tell me. Half the time you act like you're embarrassed to be gay and yet when we're alone all you want to do is be gay. Or maybe that's just because you're with me and you're only willing to be gay in public for tall, straight looking boys."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jack forced his voice to stay in its normal register. "I wasn't trying to fuck that guy."

"But you sure as hell weren't trying to stop him from fucking you."

"I don't believe you. You don't want this relationship to succeed, you know that? You want to play the victim, contrive some bullshit to push me away so you can feel like you were taken advantage of by the big, bad, butch homosexual, right? Maybe you can convince yourself that I was just experimenting, David. Will that make you feel better about the fact that the only thing you're concerned with is making me feel bad for being nice?"

"Why didn't you just fuck him right there, Jack? Or did you slip him your phone number before I managed to interrupt?"

"Oh yeah, David, I'll admit it. You caught me. Before you showed up, I went down on him in the fully lighted auditorium and he branded his phone number into my ass. I was so relieved you got angry with me, so that I wouldn't have to explain it to you."

"You're a laugh riot," David sneered. "You're sad and delusional. We had something good going and you're fucking it up. I'm so sorry David. You want me to turn around and show you my ass so you can call him instead and see if he'd be willing to take you as sloppy seconds?"

The room was silent; the only sound the sharp sting of David's slap. It was broken by his quiet, harsh cry; the sound wrenched from his throat as he shoved past Jack and ran for the door. Jack closed his eyes against the sudden sting of tears and stumbled back to the couch and sank onto it, bending at the waist and burying his head in one of Grams's throw pillows.

**  
Joey forced the truck off to the side of the road, letting it coast to a stop. The gas gauge flickered just above the E, a valiant but failing effort. She turned off the lights and killed the engine, listening to the bumps and groans as the engine began to settle and cool.

Slipping out onto the road, she slammed the door shut and took a deep breath of fresh air. The night was alive with noises. Glancing at the mileage marker ahead of her, she sighed and started walking, pulling her coat tighter around her. The moon was full, shining down coldly on her and the buildings and greenery around her. She'd been deliberate, wanting to leave it out of the way, but not too far from major travel arrangements, since she had no intention of walking back to Worthington.

She heard a song drift past her as a car drove through an intersection and caught it in her head, the melody accompanying her on her walk. Realization began to set in and her steps slowed in direct correlation to the increased pace of her thoughts.

"I just broke up with Eddie." She weighed the statement and shrugged.

"I dumped Pacey to be with Eddie." That produced a sharp twinge and she closed her eyes for a moment, opening them when she stumbled against the curb. She thought about the look in his eyes at the dance, his heart in his eyes at the dance.

"I dumped Pacey."

Tears clouded her vision and she stopped walking, sinking onto the sidewalk. Her heart beat rapidly as she buried her face in her hands. His voice washed over her, the tangible hurt in his tone, the pained way he walked away from her. The look in his eyes as he'd watched her, ignoring Audrey's struggles in his arms earlier. The way he'd let her leave him again, giving her permission by reminding her that her choice was made.

"I suck at making choices," she sniffled, reminding him. "I can't make the life-altering ones. I do it wrong. I pick what's safe and easy. You know me, dammit, don't you know that? You have to make me chose."

She bit her lip and glanced up, almost laughing out loud at the blank wall in front of her. It was a rosy brick, the surface mottled with white, crumbling slightly with age. "99% of Boston is made of brick," she reminded herself. She walked over and touched the wall, running her fingers over the slightly rough surface before nodding once, turning and hurrying toward the train station.

**  
"My butt is seriously the most relaxed it's ever been," Audrey assured Pacey as he parked alongside her building. "I'm not sure that it has the strength to be the middle part of my body. Given how completely mellow my ass is, I think that I might just fold in half and end up touching my toes until the hard, tight, tense feeling comes back into it."

"You want me to walk you to your room?"

"Why I thought you'd never ask! Such a gentleman." She wiggled happily, placing her hands in her lap and waiting until Pacey had come around and opened her door to slide from the car. "You could be in a Merchant/Ivory movie you're so gallant."

"Right. Because gallant is what I've strived to be." He wrapped his hand loosely around her shoulders and guided her toward the doorway. "So, are you still on a first name basis with all the security guards?"

"Well, I've gotten to first base with many of them, does that count?"

"Sure."

"Then yeah." She grinned up at him and rested her head against him. "This is nice. Us being friends."

"I'm glad you're okay, you know. Glad you made it through okay."

"You didn't write. Didn't call."

"I did too."

"Oh yeah. I like to pretend you didn't so that I can feel morally superior to you. Don't ruin my disillusions, okay?"

"Gotcha."

"Besides," she shrugged, "I would have understood. We were broken up. Not to mention that I know you have these issues about women in any kind of institution. You'd seriously be a walking erection if you ever even drove past a women's correctional facility."

"Because I like captive women?"

"Well, that too." She laughed and eased away from him, digging her key out of her purse. She put it in the lock and turned it, her face serious as she looked at him. "I'm sorry about everything, Pace. Really."

He nodded, stroking her cheek. "I'm just glad you're better."

"Getting better every day."

"That I don't doubt." He rubbed his thumb just under her eye, wiping away errant sparkles from her makeup. "I should say goodnight."

She shook her head, leaning into him, her lips brushing his. "Don't."

"Aud…" She stopped him with a kiss, her lips finding his, molding to them, her tongue slipping past her name into his mouth. Pacey closed his eyes painfully, sensation shivering through him as they moved forward, through the open door, stumbling toward her bed. Audrey reached forward, up, pulling his shirt over his head. His bare skin was hot against her hands, against her breasts through the thin material of her blouse.

"Don't think," she reminded him, stripping her shirt off and pressing her body back to his. His hands smoothed down her back, unfastening her bra with practiced movements. She shimmered out of it, letting the black lace fall to the floor as she nipped at his mouth, at his lips, tasting him as he continued to stroke her pale skin. Her hand snaked between them, rubbing his erection through his jeans. "Don't think. Feel."

Pacey's breath was heavy, weighing him down as he pulled back, still caught in Audrey's kiss, his hands curving around her breasts. She kicked off her shoes and twisted her fingers in the belt loops of his jeans, pulling him with her to the bed. Her kisses were frantic, hungry, devouring, leaving him no room to process anything as she unbuttoned his jeans then slid his zipper down.

Pacey closed his eyes, trying to shut out everything and do as she asked. Not to think, just to feel. No thoughts intruding, nothing but pure, visceral emotion. He caressed her breasts, feeling the nipples against the palm of his hands, rubbing them, soft skin against tight, hard flesh. She moaned in pleasure, whispered his name in their kiss. Stepping back, she unzipped her skirt and let it fall the floor, offering him an uninterrupted view of her lingerie. "I went shopping in California."

"You did well." He croaked the words, his eyes lingering on pale lavender lace that clung to her curves. "But I…"

She ignored him, grabbing his hand and sliding it between her legs, letting him feel the wet and heat that clung to the silk thong. "Feel, remember?"

"I…" He turned his head, his eyes not closing fast enough. Joey's bed, meticulously made, a soft, yellow dress thrown haphazardly across the covers. He pulled his hand back as if on fire, his eyes wounded.

Audrey looked at him then at Joey's side of the room, realization dawning in her eyes. "You know," she said the words slowly, making sure they were penetrating his distraction. "By all rights, I'm entitled to one round of really amazing ex-sex. It's in the relationship by-laws."

"What?"

She shook her head. "And here you are fucking up my one good opportunity by being emotionally vulnerable about someone else. The least you could have done is failed to get an erection or something so I could pretend it was you that was having the problem."

"I am the one having the problem."

"Because I'm not her." She shrugged and smiled. "But if you couldn't get it up at least I'd get to point and laugh."

"You're welcome to point and laugh at my pitifulness."

"No one with a cock that size is pitiful, Witter. Not that you need the ego-stroking, but since you won't let me stroke anything else…" She smiled at him, the tears in her eyes barely visible. "Not that it matters, you know, since while I was in rehab, Dawson fell in love with me."

His head jerked around, his focus no longer on finding his shirt. "What?"

"Well, you know. I was in LA. He was in LA. He checked up on me. Came to some of my sessions."

"Therapy, right?" When she didn't answer, he looked at her with a mixture of suspicion and horror. "Nothing happened, right?"

"You should go, Pace. Before Joey gets home."

"You didn't fuck him. There's no way you fucked him." He gave her a hard, quizzical look. "You didn't fuck him, did you?"

Audrey guided him to the door, grinning as he failed to notice she'd yet to put her clothing back on. A few of the guys and girls in the hallway looked and continued looking as she rested her hands on her hips, her bare breasts warring for time with the silk thigh-highs that sheathed her long legs and the matching thong that left little to the imagination. "Say goodnight, Pacey."

"You didn't fuck him."

She gave him a small shove. "Whatever you say, Pace."

**  
Jen sighed as the door closed behind Jack, the sadness in his expression seeming to fill the room even in his absence. CJ walked up behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders, pulling her back against him. "You okay?"

"Well, the dinner party was not exactly the rousing success I was expecting."

"At least it was entertaining."

"You're deriving pleasure from the pain of my friends' dysfunctional relationships?" She raised an eyebrow as she watched his expression, shrugging as he did. "Well, I guess they're kind of amusing."

"And it should be encouraging that, at this point in time, you're the most sane and, relationship wise, stable person in your little group."

"I don't think that's ever happened before."

"Though, to be honest, that's not too hard, given the present circumstances." He kissed the top of her head and pulled her back with him, shutting the door. "So don't get too cocky or anything."

"Me? I think if anyone in this relationship is cocky, it'd be you."

He gave her a quick leer that faded into a smile. "It's my job, ma'am."

"Is that so?" Jen laced her fingers through his and led the way to the stairs, pulling him along behind her.

"Oh yeah." He stopped her progress, moving behind her, pressing his body to hers. His voice dropped, laced with promise. "You wouldn't like me any other way."

"You think?"

"Well," he nuzzled her neck, his tongue and teeth wreaking havoc on her nerve endings, "you might like me, but not nearly as much."

"Just so long as you're aware that I'm not just interested in you for your body."

"Oh, I know."

"I mean, you're intelligent." She wriggled free of his hold, making sure to grind the curve of her ass against his cock before escaping his arms. CJ groaned quietly and pursued her the short distance to the top of the stairs. "That's got to count for something, right?"

"Made me smart enough not to let you get away." He caught her again and pinned her to the wall, his mouth hovering over hers. "Made me smart enough to realize that, despite how clearly insane and unbalanced you are, I'm falling in love with you."

"You wouldn't like me if I were normal."

"Not exactly the response I was looking for," he laughed. Lowering his voice, he kissed her softly, trapping the hushed words between them. "But you told me about your grandmother and you're with me. That tells me everything I want to hear."

"What does it tell you?"

He took her hand and pulled her into her bedroom, shutting the door behind them. "Come here and I'll show you."

**  
Joey sighed and rubbed the back of her neck, sinking down onto one of the benches that littered the Worthington campus. She was almost home, but she'd somehow managed to get a rock in her shoe and the resulting sore spot was threatening to blister. She eased off her shoe and turned it upside down, inhaling the fresh night air, smiling slightly.

The soft whistling caught her attention, the slightly off-key sound familiar, even when it wasn't drifting down to the lower deck of the True Love.

She shoved her shoe back on, wincing, and stood up, watching as Pacey left her dorm. His shirt hung loosely over his waistband, his coat over his arm. His dark hair was mussed, the lamps that lighted the campus giving the brown strands a reddish glow. A hard pain hit her in the middle of her chest and she gathered her coat and purse, waiting until he'd slid behind the wheel of his car and pulled away before running the last few yards to the dorm.

"Did you see her?" One of the guys from the floor above theirs was leaning over the railing of the stairs. "Jesus, she's got tits to die for. And that outfit! I haven't seen anything like that since the Victoria's Secret show they had on TV."

"Go beat off in your own room," one of the girls on the stairs snapped. "The janitors don't want to have to clean up what you leave behind." Turning back to the girl beside her, she shook her head. "He's a dog. I mean, I know I saw him with the brunette the other day. Seriously with her, you know? And now he's scoring off the blonde?"

"He was dating the blonde earlier, though." Her friend shrugged. "You've seen the brunette. You know she's not putting out. If she was, she'd be a lot happi…er." She blushed as Joey walked in front of them. "Oh, hey."

"Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Your friend, maybe." The first girl smiled. "I mean, hell, he's had the blonde and the brunette." She fingered her long, red hair. "You think he'd like to try a redhead next?"

"He's taken."

"Yeah, but by which one of you?" She laughed as Joey stormed toward her door.

Joey stopped at the door and took a deep breath, ignoring the rest of the jeers that followed her. Closing her eyes, she took another breath then slid her key into the lock. The room was barely lit, only the light from the bathroom spilling into the rest of the area. She snapped on the light, her glare aimed at Audrey as she groaned, covering her eyes with her hand.

"What the hell?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Joey's eyes raked over Audrey. She had on an unbuttoned shirt, the swell of her breasts visible, the nipples peeking out from behind the fabric as she moved. Her thong was tight against her flesh, her thigh-highs clinging to her. "Nice outfit."

Audrey blinked and stared at her, smiling slowly. "Pacey thought so."

"So you're fucking him again?"

"What do you care, Joey? You dumped him, remember? For Eddie? The big love of your life."

"And I thought you were supposed to be doing something about your self-destructive behavior."

"Fucking Pacey is self-destructive?"

"Sleeping with someone who's in love with someone else…"

"Trust me, Potter, the last thing Pacey was thinking of was you. He didn't even call out your name." She ran her hand through her hair, her shirt falling open and exposing her breast completely. "Of course, his mouth was pretty busy the entire time." Joey opened her mouth to say something, snapping it shut quickly. "You know what I don't get, Joey? You've got the perfect guy. Someone who's so fucking head over heels in love with you he can't even see straight. He's so in love with you that he dumps me. Me."

"Is there some sort of point here? And could you please put some clothes on?"

"My point is that at the age of zygote or something, you figured out who you thought the love of your life was, before you even fucking knew what love was. And you've lived by that strict little definition that Dawson fit into and anything else scared the fuck out of you. And so you refuse to accept his love and the fact that you love him, and you seek out assholes and idiots who fit into your preconceived notion of love. Which, to be honest, is a pretty amateur, childish view of love."

Joey started to turn away and Audrey caught her arm. "Love is supposed to scare the hell out of you, Joey. Love is supposed to make your heart beat faster in passion and in fear and in suspense. Love isn't supposed to be easy. Love isn't supposed to be convenient. Love is messy and painful. Love is admitting the hard shit, Joey. Love is telling your best friend that he's not the only or most important guy in your life anymore. Love is living with that. Love is telling your roommate to stay the fuck away from Pacey, whether he's your boyfriend or not, not giving her your blessing because you think it'll help you put it behind you."

"Well then, by your definition I guess I don't love him."

"I guess not. So it shouldn't matter whether or not I fucked him tonight, should it?"

"Did you?"

"You don't care, remember? You're in love with Eddie. You chose Eddie. You dumped Pacey and left him for Eddie." Audrey smirked. "After Pacey, I guess it's nice to be in a relationship that doesn't require that you wear a life jacket."

Audrey got off the bed and walked over to the wall, snapping off the light. She brushed past Joey on her way back to her side of the room.

"Night, Joey."


End file.
